A lot of doing math with young kids involves asking questions. Sometimes the hard part is knowing what questions to ask and when to ask them, and I hope this blog can provide you with plenty of ideas.

But sometimes I find that the real challenge is taking these questions and turning them into a conversation. I mean, asking questions is a great start to igniting conversation. “What shape is that?” is a lot more likely to give your child reason to interact with you than, “Look! There’s a triangle!” once your child is old enough to meaningfully respond. (Or even before – I ask Monkey questions all the time, and even though the response is often jabber, he’s still learning patterns of conversation, it it feels like I’m now talking *with* him, not just at him.)

But once you ask a question and get an answer, how to you keep the conversation going? How do you keep it feeling like you’re playing rather than quizzing? How do you keep it interesting and engaging?

One very simple and very versatile tool is to **take turns asking questions**. This is a fantastic tool because it works with a wide variety of ages, with any mathematical idea (and even with non-mathematical conversations!).

Going back to shapes, imagine three different conversational outcomes of a parent on a walk with their child.

**Conversation 1: **

Parent: [points at Yield sign] Look! There’s a triangle!

Child: [looks]

**Conversation 2: **

Parent: [points at Yield sign] What shape is that?

Child: Triangle!

Parent: Good job!* [points at wheel on a car] What shape is this?

Child: Circle!

Parent: How about….that! [points at window on a house]

Child: Square!

etc.

**Conversation 3: **

Parent: [points at Yield sign] What shape is that?

Child: Triangle!

Parent: Good job! Now you ask me one.

Child: [points at stop sign] What’s that!

Parent: That’s an *octagon*. Can you say that?

Child: Octagon.

Parent: Good! My turn?

Child: Yeah!

etc.

So what’s better about outcome 3? For one, the child is much more empowered in this conversation. The child can choose the focus of conversation. The child can communicate to the parent more easily what they are interested in or curious about. They might maintain interest longer, because the conversation is a game rather than a quiz. And thinking about what kinds of questions fit in the game involves a much higher level of thinking than just answering the questions that you choose.

Now, kids are totally unpredictable, which means that sometimes this (like any tool) might work fantastically…and sometimes it might not work out so well. Kids don’t always play the game you choose. And sometimes a kid won’t play by the rules (but sometimes their rules can take you to interesting places). And sometimes a kid will ask you a *really hard question*, and when this happens it’s not a fail – it’s a total success! What if your child were to ask you about the shape of a tree? What would you say? What if they ask what a million times a gajillion is? Or what number comes before zero? These are great conversation starters, and even if you don’t know an answer, you have an opportunity to model thinking and curiosity and how adults go about figuring out something they don’t know.

What other tools do you use to engage your kids in mathematical conversation?

* P.S. A great question to ask at times like these, although it’s not the purpose of this post, is “How do you know?” Sometimes this might be beyond your child, but go ahead and ask it anyway. See what happens!